But seriously, why do they put us through the torture of reading him in school. I think there some secret organization of teachers who's soul intention is to torture children. Bunch of sadistic motherfuckers. I mean, why else would they do it? To see the art of storytelling? Uh, no thanks, I'll watch a movie. Or play a video game (tell me one Shakespeare story that's better than MGS4's or FFVII's). I don't know if people realize this, but stories have evolved and gotten much better and complex since the time of Shakespeare like a thousand or so years ago. So what, is Shakespeare supposed to teach us English and proper grammar? That doesn't even make any sense. Last time I checked, I fucking speak English already and am writing it right now. Shakespeare's English is like really old and outdated. Why would anyone want to learn English that way. It's like some Spanish guy crosses the border and he's like Hablo Iglesias? or whatever and someone gives him a copy of MacBeth to learn it. Yeah, I'm sure saying to be or not to be is going to come in real handy when he's buying food at the grocery store. So yeah, it's just going to make him sound retarded. And then the grammar thing is dumb too. Like yeah, there are these "rules" that we have to follow, but I could care less. I mean, for all intensive purposes, grammar doesn't really have an affect on what I'm trying to convey. It begs the question if such grammatic rules should even exist. But of course there are some pretentious douchebags that insist upon them. Just imagining them and their snooty looks makes me nautious. But anyway, teachers are useless. They probably get a big cut of every Shakespeare book sold which is why they're so damn rich. All they fuckin care about is money.
Basically what I'm trying to say is, none of this shit is useful in real life. It's not like I'm gonna be sitting in my office in the future trying to contemplate whether or not Hamlet is actually the king of England or some shit. And for that matter, why should we have to learn half the shit we did in high school? History? UHH, IT ALREADY HAPPENED. WHO THE FUCK CARES. Biology is dumb too. I don't understand how evolution hasn't been disproved like 900 times already. Even I can disprove it. Humans evolved from monkeys. Why are there still monkeys? I'd like to see someone try to explain that. Then there's chemistry which is just stupid. The periodic table is all fucked up. Why are there just a bunch of elements hanging in the bottom like they're useless? Last time I checked, Uranium and Plutonium were in that category. So, uhh, chemists, maybe you should talk about that dumb shit rather than trying to explain how sodium bonds to chlorine. I mean, ooh sodium. What's the big fuckin deal. Yeah, it's in salt. If it disappeared from the universe, nobody would care. And then there's physics which is just equally as stupid. I DON'T NEED EQUATIONS TO KNOW THAT THINGS FALL DOWN. Plus I'm pretty sure my physics professor was retarded because he said things fall down at the same rate. Uhh, ever dropped a piece of paper and a brick together? One definitely falls down faster than the other. HINT: It's the heavier one!
And then we get to math which is all kinds of stupid. Yeah, math is pretty useful cause I'm adding and multiplying stuff all the time but that's all fucking arithmetic! It can all be done on a calculator. All the other maths are useless. Why do I need to use complex equations to find out when my train is gonna get here when the schedules are already posted. Oh and geometry is stupid because shapes are really boring. But the worst of all is calculus. I honestly can't figure out what this is used for. It's like derivatives and integrals. Yeah I know how to do them but what the fuck do they mean. So here's a better idea. Why don't we define calculus as the integral of my ass times the derivative of my dick. Cause all it is is a bunch of shit and piss.
